Misunderstood

I excitedly told my four year old tonight that if he can stay up until midnight tomorrow we will toast to the New Year and watch the ball drop together. He is now thrilled that I will be making him toast with extra butter tomorrow at midnight. Might have just created an odd new tradition for our odd little family.

The Best Deals

I love a bargain. I can squeeze a nickel out of two pennies, I am that frugal. And I stumbled upon a couple of really good sales this week. Nothing makes me happier than buying something I really love for 80% off. Look at me...spending more money after Christmas. I am such a good consumer. Heh.

Anyhow, we have survived the holidays once again. Lucas was thrilled with all of his gifts and he kept exclaiming over and over and over "I must have been the best boy this year to get all of these gifts!" And he's right. He's been pretty darn good. Every gift he received from "Santa" that wasn't something he specifically wished for confused him, however. And he kept asking me time and time again, "How did Santa know I wanted this so bad when I didn't even wish for it?! Did you wish for this for me?" Not knowing what to say, I just agreed with him, so he told me that I'm the best mom he's ever had. He's made of mighty cute stuff, that one.

Merry Christmas!

I have achieved a level of procrastination this year normally reserved for professionals. In true slacker mommy fashion, I left everything for tonight. Some of the shopping happened today before we went to the movies and all of the wrapping...every last stitch...occurred after Lucas went to bed. Or maybe I should say after he fell asleep since he put himself to bed at 7pm, but didn't actually fall asleep until 9pm because he was just so excited! But it's before midnight, and I'm done, so my reward is a yummy bowl of Ben and Jerry's Strawberry Cheesecake ice cream and Sex and the City reruns on TBS...mmmmm.

(Didn't even bother to wrap this one...too cumbersome. Or maybe I'm just lazy.)

I Need to Buy a Video Camera

I was standing at the sink yesterday and I heard my son singing at the top of his lungs, which is not at all uncommon since vocally he only has one setting on the old volume control: full blast.

All the single ladies, all the single ladies! All the single ladies, all the single ladies!

I rounded the corner from the kitchen to the living room and got an eyeful...there was my son, stripped down to his little boxer briefs, iPod shuffle clipped to the waistband of his unders, rocking out to Beyonce.

If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it!

It's possible that image might be burned into my brain for the rest of all eternity. I certainly hope so.

Possibly the Funniest Thing I've Ever Read:

Possibly because I am in the EXACT same boat right now...

Best Day Ever

(Photos taken with a cell phone may appear blurrier ((totally a word)) than they actually are.)

Luke's 15 year old Uncle Ben (my little brother) pulled out just a wee tiny bit of his massive Lego collection this week for Lucas to only gaze upon play with gently, and according to Lucas, it was his Best Day Ever. Nothing is as surreal as gazing into your own boy's future simply by seeing your brother's very recent past sprawled out across your mother's carpet.

Magical

I went to Walmart this evening with my son, against my better judgement but wanting to make peanut butter balls, and as I suspected, it was packed. Navigating weary shoppers leaning heavily on their carts, hearing tired children crying in every isle. It was not the funnest trip.

My mom had made the most delicious baklava in the world and she gave us an entire tray that we snacked on on the way, and Lucas, all hopped up on sugar and honey, could only speak in his MOST LOUDEST VOICE EVER! It was like he had a bullhorn attached to his mouth. Deafening.

We gathered up everything on my list, except all of the things I needed that they didn't have, and headed for the car. As I was unloading the cart my Mom said to me, "Quick, look!" I turned around in time to see my son, light up by the street lamps, with his face turned to the silent sky watching the snow swirl down around him. It made me stop everything, the peacefulness of it after the chaos of the store. He caught us watching and gave a big smile. "I thought I was about to fly," he said, "It was like magic." Oh! I hugged him so hard he told me I was "squishin' his belly." What an excellent way to end my night.

A Few Words of Wisdom From Me to You, Son.

Dear Lucas,

If there are only just the two of us living in this house and you decide to do something that might be considered "naughty" and you would prefer not to get caught, then do not leave incriminating evidence at the crime scene, all the while insisting that you were, in fact, no where near the mozzarella when a hole mysteriously got dug from it's center, as it is highly unlikely that the Star Wars action figures belong to your mother. This sort of wisdom is priceless, and should be remembered for the future. Your Welcome.

Love, Your Mother.

And the Oscar Goes To...

I'm sitting on the couch trying to get through all the unread emails in my inbox and my kid is sitting beside me building cabins with Lincoln Logs and half watching cartoons. He gets the great idea to ask me for an ice pop. Which I quickly say no to. It's almost lunch time, and one ice pop always leads to begging for just one more, just one more...

Always the bargainer, he starts right in: I'll love you and kiss you and hug you all up! But it's so special to me! It's my favorite treat! I can't resist it! (Cue panic stricken voice.) I can't resist my favorite ice pops! It's my most specialist treat in the world! (Cue tears) I have room in my belly for it! I swear! Please please please please please!

Now, I've only just gotten out of work a few hours ago, and we are already back up for the day, and I'm just about to cave in and hand him a fistful of ice pops to just make the noise stop when he gets distracted by cartoons. Ahhh...the sweet sound of silence...some days that silence is my most specialist treat in the world.

And just when I think he's been successfully sidetracked, he glances over his shoulder at me and very calmly announces that he's going to need that ice pop as soon as possible. I'm not sure any Hollywood actor could have put forth a more convincing performance. Time to dust off a space on the mantle for that Oscar.

Poor Old Stroller

The only way to shop...although I have to give props to that poor umbrella stroller. It was free with purchase a few years ago, and I'm quite positive it had no knowledge then of the great load it would someday carry...and carry, and carry, and carry...

Where Did I Find This Kid?

It's bedtime and my son is pleading pleading pleading for just one more thing. Just one more ice pop, just one bowl of ice cream, just one fruit roll up, just one more glass of milk. And of course he gets none of these things because I'm mean. And it's bedtime. And I've had enough. In a last ditch effort to get me to pay just a tiny bit more attention to him before he's finally willing to close his eyes for the night he tells me he loves me 101. One hundred and one...because 100 is the biggest number he knows, so 101 is just beyond big. So very sweet, this boy who has managed to be put in time out for rotten behavior and praised by a stranger for his impeccable manners all in the same day. And then he offered me cold hard cash to rub his feet. "I'll pay you, Mommy...I'll pay you actual money...real money to rub my feet, what do you say?" I said yes but I've yet to see the cash.

Finally!

I threw aside my slacker ways this evening and put up our tree. In true me fashion I decided I didn't have any place to put the tree without it getting in the way. So before I could get the tree up I first had to move a couch. And then another couch. And then all the toys that came tumbling out from underneath the couches when I moved them needed to be dusted off and put away. And then the carpet needed to be vacuumed, because gross! So basically, a hundred hours after I started putting up the tree we finally finished. After all that effort I might as well just leave it up until next year. It would really be so much easier.

Didn't Happen

Who wants to take a guess about whether or not I got the tree up? Oh...I might of outed myself in the title up there...yeah...it's not up. BUT TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY! And so is the day ofter that, and the day after that...I guess as long as I get it up by Christmas, all will be fine.

We did get a lot done today however, including but not limited to: Christmas shopping with the masses, dishes, laundry, dishes, wrapping, dishes and of course facebook and twitter, which I can't seem to stay away from this week. If you're on twitter and you don't mind me stalking you a little following you let me know! The WantNot updates alone could keep me busy...

There's Always Tomorrow...

I have a To Do List a mile long and absolutely no desire to get started on it. I am embarrassed to admit how late I slept in this morning while my kid ran around our home in his birthday suit scarfing down fruit-by-the-foot in record numbers. Because he's a lovely little boy who wants his mama to get her rest.

I know it's just like with exercise, in that I'll feel better after I get started, but oh! The getting started is the hard part!

But! Tomorrow is a new day...albeit with a very long list of things to do, and if I can get through a load of laundry and setting up the tree I'll be a happy camper. I have half a mind to post my phone number here so you can all call me every 5 minutes beginning at 9am and tell me to get my lazy behind off the most comfortable couch in the world. (I'm lazy, but not crazy...I'd like to get a little sleep! If you do know my number please don't call me before 9am...I'll be sleeping.) ;)

Winter Wonderland

It's snowing so hard that it's a total whiteout. First whiteout of the year. Feels much more like Christmas now. Off to start wrapping presents...

It Always SEEMS Like a Good Idea at the Time...

Cutting my punk's hair is akin to bathing an alley cat with one hand tied behind your back. There is much thrashing about and even more ear splitting wails about the unfairness of it all. However, he is in desperate need of a haircut, and he HATES HATES HATES going to the hairdresser. He's been begging me to cut it myself, and like a moron I thought, of course! I can totally cut his hair on my own, how hard can it be? His really thick, somewhat unruly, double cow lick sporting hair. Did I mention how much he hates going to the hairdresser? Heh.

I did it. I went to good old Walmart and bought a nice set of clippers (why not get the nice ones, right...I'm sure I'll be really good at this!) and brought them home to start the clippin'. My home is now covered in enough microscopic scratchy hair pieces to knit a 8x11' HAIR CARPET. Argh! Keep your fingers crossed that the haircut came out okay...I wouldn't know since he fell asleep immediately after his life-threatening trim and currently all of his hair is sticking straight up on his pillow. Yikes.

udated: Yeah...turns out I'm not real good at cutting hair. Back to the drawing board...

400

This is my 400th post. So that means I've been underwhelming tens of people for the last couple of years with stories of my kid and a good portion of you have stuck with me through all 400 entries. Thank you. I started blogging after I found this website and fell in love with 7 kids that aren't mine because they're just so darn cute. I still check her every day looking for new posts. I've discovered some awesome bloggin' ladies like her, her, her and her. Some kick ass single mamas like this one, this one, this one, this one, and definitely this one.

I don't blog all that much about myself, it's mostly just a chronicle of Lucas and our life together, so that he'll know when he's older that I tried my best. It's not easy being a solo parent but I'm working hard everyday to make sure he never feels like he's missed out on anything. That he never feels he had less than his little buddies with a mom and a dad in the picture. So, thanks for sticking with us...you'll never know how much it means to me.

And hey! If you're a regular lurker but never a commenter? Let me know you're here! I'm always curious... ;)

Misquoted

I guess it's probably no secret by now that my son watches (perhaps too much) Spongebob and a lot of zany yellow-sponge-related quotes make their way into the house, and maybe more importantly into our daily conversation. And I'm guilty of it, too. I yell BARNACLES! when I stub my toe or get a paper cut. Both of us say OH MY ACHIN' TENTACLES! when we're sore or tired. But a new quote has made it's way in and sort of got distorted over the course of a couple of days. What started out as "Oh fish paste!" somehow morphed into "Penis paste" (huh?) and then straight into just "PENIS!" Errrg.

So weren't we out shopping and the little darling was checking out Legos and just touching touching touching everything in the toy isle and big box of Star Wars Legos fell off the shelf. A lovely (albeit chatty) lady kept going on and on about which Lego set she would recommend for my child. Yeah...thanks lady, but I'm not dropping a hundred dollars on a Lego set aimed at kids 7 years old and up...three weeks before Christmas. Unless she would like to buy it for him, in which case, be my guest, any of them would be lovely, thanks! So, the box hits the floor and doesn't Lucas yell out "OH PENIS!" Let me tell you, it is a perfect way to get someone to leave you alone. That lady looked plain shocked, turned on her heel, and off she went. Now comes the hard part. Deprogramming a four year old. Someone give me a new catch phrase, quick! We need to nip this one in the bum before it sticks.