Men Boys At Work

"It's hard being five, you know. Way harder than it was when I was four. And I mean that."

2/365

"I'm just gonna shovel this tiny bit of snow..."

Quote of the Day

Him: "I think you should take me outside for a bike ride."

Me: "Why?"

Him: "Because the fresh air is good for my lungs."

How Dare I?

I did something terrible today. I offered the kid a Girl Scout Thin Mint cookie. He acted all happy for his cookie, all appreciative...until he took a bite. Oh! The horror! "I don't LIKE raisins! You know I don't like raisins!." Let me just say that, first: He does like raisins, we fight over chocolate covered raisins every time we go the movies. And second: To the best of my knowledge (which includes several decades of Girl Scout cookie eating experiences) there are no raisins in the thin mint cookies. I pointed out both of these things to him as he made retching noises in the back seat and begged for water. "Well, you know I don't like mint, either!"

I'm thinking that the consumption of our three boxes will fall to me...the things I do for that boy.

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Also, he informed today that I could "apologize to him whenever I was ready." When I asked him what I might be apologizing for, he said, "Remember when you yelled at me for whining, and I didn't stop whining because I couldn't stop whining? Well, you shouldn't yell at me for that and you should apologize." Guess what...he was still whining even then. You're shocked, I can tell.

Quote of the Day

"Mom...I'm finished my ice cream. It gave me a wicked ice cream headache. But I liked it!"

Side note: "Wicked" appears to be our word of the week.

Quote of the Day

Lucas was watching Nickelodeon this morning and some little blurb came on about making good choices when snacking. He came barrelling into the kitchen in his little boxer briefs with his hands on his hips and a scowl on his face.

"You didn't tell me!"

"I didn't tell you what, buddy?"

"You didn't tell me that CHIPS were BAD for my BODY!"

"But honey...how could they be bad when they taste so good!?"

"Oh...okay."

(He has to be relieved...he would eat chips for breakfast, lunch and dinner if I let him.)

Quote of the Day

Him: "My heart is racing and I can't catch my breath! My heart is going bomp, bomp, BOMP! Phew!"

Me: "Oh my goodness, honey, what's wrong?"

Him: "Probably I need a snack."

Quote of the Day

Lucas: (Sitting on a friend's bed, surveying his room) "Hey! This is a real nice place you got here!"

My Little Foodie

Lucas was in the living room watching the Food Network and I was in the kitchen washing dishes when he came in and asked for the grocery list. (We keep a magnetic pad of paper on the fridge and write our list as we run out of things.) I asked him what he thought we were out of. He told me he needed some ingredients for his new recipe. When I asked him what ingredients he needed he told me lemon vodka and lemons (although it sounded more like 'wemon 'wodka and 'wemons)...because he was making 'tinis (martinis) like the lady on tv. Hehehehehe. He likes to watch Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee...and she sure does like her cocktails. While I won't be picking up lemon vodka for him to experiment with anytime soon...I won't discourage the little guy from trying out new recipes. Why, just this morning he made me waffles with strawberries and whipped cream for breakfast, and I, for one, would like this to continue.

Quote of the Day

From my almost 4 year old boy with his hands in air and a know-it-all tone standing on his "cooking chair" at the kitchen counter... "I know the ingwedients in my wecipe for my mashed 'atatoes. Mashed 'atatoes and water. That's what's in my wecipe." (Which is totally true...because I buy him the instant mashed potatoes in a pouch that you just add water to. It makes it so much easier for him to navigate his "recipes" when the ingredient list is a short one. And he makes me mashed potatoes every. single. day. Which is fine...if you really really really love powdered mashed potatoes.)

Sometimes He's So Cute I Just Can't Even Hardly Stand It

Let's set the scene: today at noon in a booth at Moe's. It sounded a little something like this...

Him: (Mouth full of taco from his Power Wagon kid's meal.) "Vis is a wily wily yummy donut I have here, 'fanks for gettin' me vis donut!

Me: (Choking back the giggles.) "Honey, that's a taco, what you're eating is called a taco."

Him: "Oh, yeah (taco pieces from from his overstuffed little mouth)...I was being silly."

Backhanded Praise from my Toddler

"You're doin' a really good job drivin', Mom...it's not your fault the road is so bumpy."

Quote of the Day

Me: Come here my sweet baby and give your Mama a kiss!

Lucas: I'm not a BABY! I'm a MAN! And I do MAN THINGS!

Me: Well, Mr. Man, then how 'bout you pick up your toys all over the living room.

Lucas: I can't...I'm just a tired little boy...

Quote of the Day

Don't touch my hair! I'll have to take a bath next week!

Quote of the Day

Me: "We have been invited to a lovely dinner tomorrow night, and I want you to be on your best behavior."

Him: "I don't like being on my best behavior!"

Quote of the Day

"I'm Grandma's TROPHY...she told me I was!"

Quote of the Day

I took Lucas for a walk once my ears started bleeding today, what with all the whining and whimpering that occurred after his friend left. I thought we might enjoy some outdoor time together, it was beautiful and crisp out, a perfect fall day, so I put him in his stroller and set out for a walk. Lucas would not stop complaining. Every time we came to a new street corner he would insist that we use it to go back home. After 3 hours of this (it might have been 10 minutes...but it seemed like 3 hours) I snapped at him. "Can you just relax, we are enjoying nature!" And he snapped back, "I only enjoy nature with my 'Amma!"

Enough said. I wanted to watch MTV anyway.

(I Have a Friend Named Summer...)

Me: "Lucas, pick up your trains, Summer is coming!"
Lucas: "NO...it's almost Christmas!"

Quote of the Day

We have a few from the last week...

Today: "My toe is broken, can you get me a new one?" (Recovering from a mosquito bite on his pinkie toe, to which he is highly allergic)

Yesterday: "I'm gonna need a red light soon." (While driving in the car, I always tell him he needs to wait until we get to a red light before I can give him my attention...so he has taken to requesting red lights and/or stop signs when he needs something.)

Thursday: "You broke my heart!" (When I scolded him to stay with me while shopping in Kmart.)