Gettin' the Digits

I was lucky enough to show up for work on Saturday and be told we were overstaffed. Which meant that I got to GO HOME and yet still GET PAID for a 12hr shift. It also meant I had a Saturday night off for the first time in over a year. DOUBLE YEAH! Since Lucas usually sleeps overnight at my Mom's on Saturdays, it was shaping up to be a childless Saturday night off. TRIPLE YEAH! Except, as I called my friends, one by one, they all had plans. I finally found a friend and her husband and baby who were about to go to dinner and took pity on me invited us to join them. I scooped up Lucas and we headed off.

The place was packed full of people. I don't mean to sound totally lame, but I'm just not used to that kind of a crowd. Working an off shift like I do means that when I go out to dinner on my "weekend", it's a Wednesday night and there's generally very few other people out and about. (Total side note: I just used "out and about" in a sentence like an old lady. Gah!)

Our waiter seemed kind of stressed out and I totally don't blame him. He was seriously busy. Another server came to our table to say hello. We (the adults at the table) knew who she was but Lucas did not. We were talking about what movies anyone had seen lately (me=none) and Lucas piped right up and asked her to go to the movies with us. So cute right?! Well hold on to your hats, 'cause it gets even cuter. "Well", he says, as he leans towards her, "maybe I could get your phone number and I'll call you to go to the movies." And then she totally wrote her cell phone number on a piece of scrap paper and handed it to him. He folded it up again and again and tucked it into his pocket.

My son is not yet five years old and I totally got a front row seat as he picked up his first chick. Smooth moves, little man. Smooth moves. Your mama's proud...but you're not going anywhere unchaperoned.

Costco Before the Ice Storm

Every man's dream...Star Wars on a big screen.

"Just leave me here," he says, "I'll be fine."

I Need to Buy a Video Camera

I was standing at the sink yesterday and I heard my son singing at the top of his lungs, which is not at all uncommon since vocally he only has one setting on the old volume control: full blast.

All the single ladies, all the single ladies! All the single ladies, all the single ladies!

I rounded the corner from the kitchen to the living room and got an eyeful...there was my son, stripped down to his little boxer briefs, iPod shuffle clipped to the waistband of his unders, rocking out to Beyonce.

If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it!

It's possible that image might be burned into my brain for the rest of all eternity. I certainly hope so.

Possibly the Funniest Thing I've Ever Read:

Possibly because I am in the EXACT same boat right now...

Poor Old Stroller

The only way to shop...although I have to give props to that poor umbrella stroller. It was free with purchase a few years ago, and I'm quite positive it had no knowledge then of the great load it would someday carry...and carry, and carry, and carry...

Out of the Mouths...

So I was back at Target this week (because I'm weak in the knees for that store and the mere fact that I have to travel to another state via an overpriced ferry ride cannot keep us apart!!) Sorry, that was overly dramatic, I apologize.

Anywho.

I was shopping for a new purse while I was there because my coworkers seem to think the one I'm carrying around now is akin to a "murse" aka man-purse and should be burned. They are a tough crowd, indeed. I was browsing in the handbag section and told Lucas to sit on the floor beside me so that I could concentrate on the inventory without having to worry that he might wander off on me. He was chopping on ice cubes and more than happy to plop on the carpet and chew on his ice.

"I want to 'rake up with you, Mom."

Huh? "You want to wake up with me? You want to sleep in my bed tonight?

"No...I want to 'rake UP with you."

"I still don't get it, buddy...swallow what's in your mouth and then tell me again."

"I want to break up with you, MOM!"

"Well, I'm sorry, you can't break up with me...like or not we're together forever. I'm gonna be your Mama for the rest of all time. No breaking up aloud."

"Well, then, I want to date you 'cause I love you so much!"

That's better...still not quite right, but better. I think he's been eavesdropping on my brother's conversations with his buddies...people forget that for the most part he understands everything he hears. And his ears? They are big.

Take THAT, Wikipedia...

Lucas wanted my mom to "colorate" his chalk train drawing today. I'm guessing the word is a mish-mash of color and decorate, but we're going to try to start using it in a sentence...kind of like the phrase Super Gum DOER! we picked up a while ago.

In other news, (and MAN I WISH I GOT A PICTURE!) Lucas and I spend most of our Fridays at our friend Wendy's house. She has two kids about Luke's age and the three of them get along really well. Hanging out with them is the perfect way to pass a morning/afternoon. Yesterday, after the rained stopped, the boys were playing outside and we (okay...mostly Wendy...I was quite comfy on the couch) kept peering out the windows to make sure they were fine in the yard. At one point she peered out and starting laughing. There they were: Two little boys with their pants down "watering" the tree, buns to the wind. Now, her little boy is very thin and when he pulled his pants back up they shot almost to his armpits. Lucas on the other hand was trapped with his pants and unders stuck around his knees. He is built like a little root beer barrel, and the combination of his belly and the wetness of his play clothes trapped his pants halfway up. Up the driveway he came, waddling like a penguin and hollering for help. I'm wondering when he's finally going to master the Pulling Up of Your Own Pants. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it happens before he starts kindergarten, because I can absolutely see him bellowing from the school bathroom for HELP WITH HIS UNDERS!, and that will ruin his rep with the cool kids.

By Any Other Name...

We were driving in the car to my Mom's house today to drop Lucas off on my way to work and he asked me, "Sometimes I call you Anna and sometimes I call you Mom, right"? And I spent a few minutes explaining to him that no, you really shouldn't call me Anna unless you are introducing me to a friend or asking a police officer for help, in which case you tell him you are Lucas Benjamin Lastname and that your mom's name is Anna Ellen Lastname (both of which he already knows.) And then the conversation took a hard left he started sputtering that that was the most ridiculous name he ever heard, and wouldn't Fish-paste be a better choice...for both of us. Dude...I don't even like fish, so I'm thinking Anna Ellen Fish-paste doesn't have quite the right ring to it...don't think I'll switch my checks over just yet. And also, what on earth? Thank heavens I poured over baby books and accepted hundreds of helpful suggestions (imagine helpful suggestions in air quotes) to find just the right name for my child, one that he could be proud of for decades to come. And he'd rather be Fish-paste. Ingrate.

No Shortage of Self-Esteem

Imagine walking into a room and hearing this kid singing "I'm a beautiful geeenius!" over and over. It's hard not to laugh, let me tell you. I have no idea where he's learned it, but he sings it with feeling.

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In other news, we got a surprise in the mail yesterday. About a week ago a lovely lady named Elizabeth over at Brighter Minds Media offered to send us a Thomas & Friends: Special Delivery computer game to try out and plug if we thought it was worth the mention. I was excited because the only other person who has ever ask me to product test anything is my four year old. *wink*

It arrived on our door step yesterday and Lucas ripped it right open. Despite the fact that my son refuses to hold a mouse correctly and instead "right-clicks" with his right thumb, he is enamoured with his new computer game. He loves it, and at four years old, he can play both levels well, although the "easy level" is understandably, well, easier. He even woke up crying this afternoon because he thought I had forgotten to pack it in his overnight bag for Grandma's house. So thank you, Elizabeth! We love the game!

Motherly Advice...Misunderstood

We were driving down the road today and Lucas saw a guy drive by on a motorcycle.

Him: Hey! When I grow up I'm gonna drive a motorcycle! No wait! No wait, no wait! When I grow up I'm gonna ride a skateboard!

Me: Really? Because I think you'd pick up more chicks on a motorcycle.

Him: (Long pause) Why would I want to do that? Pick up chicks on a motorcycle? I don't even like chicken!

Ahhh...someday he'll appreciate all of my good advice...maybe when he's seven or eight. Four seems a bit young.

In other news...I got to do a guest blog for Single Minded Women! Exciting and fancy!

Week at a Glance

We have a very busy week planned, and if all the stars align just right, it won't rain every single day that I have off. It would be lovely to use that fancy new camera of mine...but I can't take it anywhere in a downpour. So we have the next five days or so filled with play dates, play dates, more play dates, company (Hi AUNT MARY!) and parties. I'm tired just thinking about it. But we'll have fun. We seem to have fun no matter where we go or who we're with...

And in a completely unrelated but very funny note...

(I am blushing even as I write this)

I was getting ready for work yesterday, fresh out of the shower to be exact, blow drying my hair bare nakey in front of the mirror when I realized my bestest friend was laughing her ass off at me from the bottom of the stairs. Lucky me that the front door is at the base of the stairs and the bathroom is located directly at the top! I never forget to lock the door before I go upstairs to hop in the shower because I know that Lucas, friendly little bugger that he is, will let in anyone that knocks. It just figures that the one day I forget we get company! Hehehehe! She got quite an eyeful, I'm sure...poor girl.

He Got a New Bike

And it only has two wheels (and two training wheels). I got it for a steal at a huge kid's consignment sale this weekend. He seemed very excited about it until I got it home, put the helmet on his head and told him to ride like the wind. "Maybe when I'm six." was his answer. I might not have bothered to drag the thing home from across state lines if I had known he didn't really want it. But for ten bucks, what are gonna do? I'm sure he'll change his mind..we all know how fickle 4-year-olds can be.



Mr. FedEx didn't bring me my camera again today. Apparently he doesn't want me to be happy on Mother's Day. At one point this morning I was washing my hair in the shower and I thought I heard a delivery truck pull up so out I dashed, wearing nothing but soap in my hair, to retrieve my CAMERA! We wouldn't want him to just leave it on the porch...what if somebody tried to steal it! But it didn't come...I guess it's just as well...that would have been an embarrassing way to meet my FedEx guy.

This is EXACTLY Why I Love My Kid

We were in Costco today and Lucas was riding in the shopping cart. As I wheeled him around he starting counting..."a-one, a-two, a-three" and it made me think of the Tootsie Roll pop commercial. I leaned over the cart and said in a silly low announcer-man sort of voice..."How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" And he answered back without missing a beat..."The world may never know." He is the perfect kid for me.

It's Already Begun...

I just had the cutest conversation with my kid. Apparently he and Grandma are working on opposites...and when I called to say goodnight I was given a pop quiz that went a little something like this:

(His side of this conversation consisted mostly of yelling the questions at the very tippity-top of his lungs...)

"MOMMY! WHAT IS THE OPPOSITE OF UP?!"

"Is it down?"

"YES! YOU'RE RIGHT! WHAT IS THE OPPOSITE OF HOT?!"

"Is it cold?"

"YES! YOU'RE RIGHT! WHAT IS THE OPPOSITE OF NORTH?!"

Oh good gracious...he's gonna be smarter than me soon...isn't he? "It is south?"

"YUP! WHAT IS THE OPPOSITE OF EVENING?!"

"Ummmm...is it morning?"

"YUP! GOODNIGHT!"

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In a related bit of news...I think our school district might be offering preschool in the fall...it's no full day kindergarten...but it's a start. Keep your fingers crossed for me, would 'ya? *wink* Thanks!

Quote of the Day

Him: "I think you should take me outside for a bike ride."

Me: "Why?"

Him: "Because the fresh air is good for my lungs."

Pink Looks Good on Him

He offered a trade to the lady at the toy store...our silver car for this one...should be a fun ride through the New England winters...wonder if it comes with snow tires?

So. Sore.

Lucas and I did yoga today. I had gotten both of us medicine balls and free weights (my size and his size) because let's face it...we could both stand to lose a few pounds...and my neck and back are wrecked for a person my age. I am always pinching a nerve in my neck or tweaking my back and then spending the next ten days trying to function like a normal person. I figured a little core work could do us both some good.

Oh my good gracious.

I may have burned more calories laughing at my sweet boy with his round belly, clad only in boxer briefs, bouncing away on his medicine ball and demanding an exercise video "with more dancing." I will say though, I am feeling muscles tonight that haven't been dusted off since his birth four years ago. Ouch.

With a Cherry on Top

Oh! I could just put him in a bowl and eat him right up, he is that sweet!

Phew! Now that I've got all that gushiness out of my system...

I was washing dishes in the kitchen (obviously) and Lucas was playing with his Disney Cars in the other room, and I could hear him just singing away. I turned off the water and listened for a second and I had to cover my mouth from laughing out loud. (This is a boy that DOES NOT like to be laughed at.) As I peaked around the corner to watch I saw him shaking his little booty and flapping his arms while he danced around the room.

"Hey, Mom! You like my singin'?

"I sure do! What song is that, buddy?"

"I Don't Wanna Go To School...by the Naked Brothers Band."

Let me just start by saying, What?...the child can sing the lyrics and state the name of the band? What happened to my baaaaaaaaaaaby??? But then...oh my goodness! My baby can sing the lyrics and state the name of the band! Rock on, little guy!

I am so glad I have him. Specifically him. Although I'm sure I would have loved some other fertilized egg just as much...but still. We are off to the mall tomorrow to buy the CD...although what's with Nickelodeon naming a kid's band the Naked Brothers Band? Eh?

Throwdown...Bobby Flay Style

Are any of you die-hard foodies? Addicted to the Food Network? Pouring over kid friendly cookbooks daily? Well, we are!

We had ourselves a bit of a throwdown today, a la Bobby Flay, and our dish was good 'ole mac-n-cheese. His offering was Kraft Spongebob mac-n-cheese, mine was actual made-from-scratch mac-n-cheese. We brought our completed dishes to the table to begin the judging. Of course, we were the only two participates, making us the only two judges...you can see were this was going, right? You would think that we'd be in a deadlock...but no...Lucas won the challenge. Even though his totally lame box mix was totally lame and from a box, he declared it was both tender, and that he could really taste the cheese, which of course made me melt into a puddle of gooey proud mama and I handed him the title of Throwdown Champion and also the title of Best Kid Ever. So...good day.

Crush

Lucas had a little crush on our loan officer at the bank when we went in on Thursday. She was tall and thin and blond...and more than a little ditsy...everything a red blooded American boy would want in a mate. She smiled at him swinging his legs and drinking his water from a coffee cup with a sippy top. She laughed at his knock-knock jokes. If I dared to look away from her to anything else in the room, he would point right at me and then point at her...like how dare I turn my attention from his true love to glance at a sign for low rate mortgages. How rude. How disrespectful! And when she left to go make copies he begged to go with her..."for just a teensy weensy minute?" I said no because I'm mean. When it was time to go he told her we were going to park our new silver car in the garage all the time, which is interesting since we don't have a garage...actually...nobody we know parks their car in a garage. It is a mystery to me how that boy's mind works.