Monday, November 5, 2007

He's Not a Baby, He's a Kid

I took a good look at my son today. A good long look, outside in the morning sunshine, with the cold air turning his cheeks pink and the tips of his ears a bright red, and I realized something. My little baby boy has grown up. He is tall and strong, he is able and kind. Lest the telling of this revelation get too sappy, I am coming to this realization while standing outside our local Walmart. He's climbing on one of the quarter operated kiddie rides outside the front door (yuck), and I'm trying to convince him that it's time to go inside and run our errands. But, it's the first time he's been outside today and he doesn't want to go in. He kneels on the outside edge of the blue and green plastic Jetson's spaceship and pleads for quarters, and he says over and over again, "MOM, look what I can do, look what I can do!" He's nimble, and agile in a way that he hasn't really been before now. And that's when it struck me. That my baby is gone. Replaced by a blond haired, green eyed boy who looks a lot like me, and I got a bit choked up. He will probably be my only child, chances are quite good that I will never hold a newborn baby of my own in my arms ever again. And I'm okay with that. I've been known to tell others on many occasions that one is enough for me, but I'm not sure I really realized what that meant while Lucas was still a baby. This child before me is a baby no more, when we left Walmart he opened his own car door, climbed in, shut the door and buckled himself in his car seat. He's been asking me over and over for his own steering wheel and gas pedal to use in the backseat, and today is no exception. I miss my baby, but I love this kid.


AuntMary said...

You write with such feeling that I could picture myself right there observing and hearing what you described. Your BABY will always be your baby (think of your mom and me!) but having a young boy is going to be a world of new adventures and blessings too! Keep us posted! Talk to you soon.

Kellan said...

Anna - what a sad little post - just made me want to cry. Time just passes so fast - see ya.

pmd said...

You are such a good mama.